Discipline should not be confused with punishment and authoritarianism. It must be a permanent practice of values ​​consistent with what is said and done.

What is Discipline?

Thediscipline is a practical and effective way toeducate, to teach correct behaviors and habits within the values ​​established in the home, at school and in the community.

Discipline is what will accurately determine the personality of the child, that you will learn to share, play, acquire security, know what family and social values ​​are.

What is the correct way to applydiscipline at home when you have young children? It should be understood that disciplineit should not necessarily be associated with any form of punishment for some negative act committed by the minor.

The home is the starting point for parents or guardians to teach discipline to the minor, and starts from birth, and this must be complemented at school by teachers in a framework of mutual respect.

Every boy or girl is unique; Thus, it is important to observe when the discipline should be mild or severe (no physical or verbal violence), and if necessary apply rules and habits according to the behavior of the family at home.

Nor should one be too permissive in education; this can show weakness of character and not know what you want to convey to the child. Contradictions between parents in front of the minor should be avoided when disciplining; that can take away their authority.

Discipline must be based on example, and parents be consistent with what they say or do. Spend time with your son or daughter, not in quantity but in quality, without interruptions, will be fundamental in their formation and will strengthen their esteem.

How to set rules and limits at home

In our society there are norms or rules, that we like it or not, you have to comply, the same happens at school and at home, Thus, children must also learn to respect these rules and limits.

Before starting, we should see if the rules are well established at home.

If we want to set a new norm at home, we must follow these three steps:

1. Tell the little one what the norm is.
2. Explain what the reason is.
3. Establish what the consequence will be if it breaks.

Example:

1. You can't run inside the house.
2. Because you annoy the neighbors.
3. If you don't listen to me, you will go to your room.

Once the three steps have been repeated a couple of times, we must act directly, namely, if he runs inside the house we will take him directly to the room, since one of the main mistakes we make is giving too many opportunities, namely, threaten but not carry out the threat. And it will be essential to be constant

We must take into account:

• Be specific, it is important to tell him exactly what is expected of him.
• Set limits appropriate to the child's age.
• Be consistent, make sure that if we set a standard we will be able to enforce it.
• Agreement between parents.
• When we give an instruction to a child we must:
  1. be next to the child.
  2. get up to speed with him and establish some contact with him, how to hold him by the shoulders.
  3. use a pleasant but firm tone of voice.
  4. look him in the eye and make sure he does too.

This leads us to have a positive discipline.

7 techniques for teaching positive discipline to children

To teach positive discipline andeducate in values to the smallest of the house.

1.Let him know that from now on you will not insist to fulfill his tasks or requests, because it is your responsibility.

As a mom, you have to make sure that your little one knows the schedules of their daily activities such as: breakfast, lunch, snack, time to do homework, games and rest. If necessary, stick posters on the refrigerator or in your room with the schedules.

2. Teach him to use the alarm clock

Suggest that he be the one who manages his time as long as he fulfills his daily responsibilities. A good idea is that if at 10 a.m. must shower on weekends, challenge him to get it like it's a game.

3. Make the rules clear

Your challenge is to stop reminding them all day. If you forget, ask him so that he remembers and reflects on them.

4. Teach him that indiscipline has consequences

With the desire to educate in values ​​we must allow that if it does not comply with your requests we will have to assume a “punishment” such as going to the thinking chair, don't watch your favorite TV show, do not use the tablet, among other.

5. Change orders for questions

The specialist advises doing it as follows: "Julian, What do you have to do now? And let your son answer you. I never answered him. If he smiles mischievously, answer back: "I trust that 30 minutes you have finished your extra school work and then have dinner ". If it's time to eat and you haven't, he may run off to finish his "job". When he comes back thank him (even if you are very angry) and avoid any disparaging comments because the important thing is that you start doing your things without repeating them.

6. Repetitive bad behavior what do I do?

Sit down with your son and tell him that the same thing happens as always, you need to find a solution with him. Take a pencil and paper to write all the alternatives that your little one gives you. Then they can read them, discard those that do not agree and leave those with which you agree to comply.

7. Let him know in advance

Children do not like to be told on the fly that the good is over, much less those who do not know how to control frustration. Also take into account the possibility of giving you options: Do you prefer to do your homework now or after snack? Do you want to take a bath now or later?

Be patient and use other techniques such as discipline with love to be able to advance your task as a mother. You do not want your child to be a little loved by your permissiveness.

How to teach children to be self-disciplined

An essential skill your children need for future success is self-discipline.. What can you do to help your children learn about self-discipline and instill it in them?? Here are seven steps that will get you on your way.

Use common situations to teach self-regulation strategies
Things like waiting to open Christmas presents, taking turns with a treasured toy and being silent while reading a story aloud in the library are examples of natural situations during which self-regulation skills can be taught.

These situations are truly challenging for younger children.. Before the event or situation, explain the expectations. Later, at the time, help them reach that goal. Give them the strategies to regulate their impulses.

Encourage children to engage in activities that promote self-discipline
May include sports, music lessons, the responsibility of caring for a neighbor's pet, memorizing poetry, clean a room, among others.

Let your kids make a choice and have a plan
A well-regulated older child might look at a set of options and make a reasoned decision. O, faced with a wide range of possibilities, that kid could make a plan.

Your goal is for your children to develop well-regulated thought processes. To be able to overcome the chaos, So to speak, and inhibit distractions.

Teach them the steps necessary to finish a daunting job
Children can easily become discouraged by the work they are given. If the mess, after playing, it's completely overwhelming, help them focus on one thing at a time by dividing work into more manageable tasks. This could be picking up the bigger toys first and then working your way to the smaller ones..

Insist on keeping promises
If children quit the job they were asked to do, it's important to make sure they see it through to the end and understand why. If the room is still messy, you can say: "In our family, we keep our promises and make sure we finish what we started ”, and then you go over the steps required to complete the task at hand. By establishing this family rule, you teach your children that it is important that they do whatever it takes to get the job done.

Tell them they will stumble
Self-discipline is not learned overnight. We adults struggle with this too. Tell your children that sometimes they will fail, but that they will learn from their mistakes and try a little harder next time.

Remember that you are being watched
Yes, you will have to be an example for your children. Show them that you have learned self-control in your work, housework and responsibilities to your family.

The key to positive discipline success, is to be consistent in routines. Your children need to know clearly what is acceptable and what is not. If one day you punish them for something and the next day you omit it, they will get confused and not get a consistent message. To achieve consistency in behaviors, establishes very clear and defined routines.

recommendations

• involve your children in setting limits and rules. "When you feel that you listen to them they will see the rules as something more fair".
• Be clear about the behaviors expected of them.
• Assign tasks and responsibilities that each person in the family to fulfill in order to have a healthy coexistence.
• Make agreements and express what the consequences of unacceptable behavior may be without using a threatening tone.
• Highlight and recognize when your children have had expected behaviors and have adopted agreed norms.
• Interpret mistakes as learning opportunities. Teach them how you can turn adverse situations into learning and understanding situations.
• Avoid overlooking actions that violate the rules of the home. This will prevent inappropriate behavior from recurring..
• Solve problems immediately and using dialogue as the main tool.

The first action that you should include in your routine is to put aside the unstimulating adjectives. Using words like "bad", "restless", "Naughty" with a negative connotation, reinforces an unwanted image in you and your child.

Positive discipline is the opportunity to improve family life and to form children who accept and put the rules into practice, not out of fear of being punished but because they recognize the importance of good behaviors and the reasons for them.

Put into practice the five principles that shape the stream of positive discipline each day.

CHARACTERISTICS OF POSITIVE DISCIPLINE

According to Dr.Jane Nelsen author and co-author of the Positive Discipline Series (collection of positive education books and programs),  exist 5 criteria for positive discipline.

• Kindness and firmness at the same time. mutual respect and encouraged.
• Belonging and meaning. Help children feel a sense of connection.
• It is effective in the long term. Punishment works in the short term, but it has negative results in the long run.
• Teaches valuable social and life skills for good character. I respect, concern for others, Problem resolution. As well as skills to contribute to the home, school or community.
• Encourage children to discover their ability. Promotes the constructive use of personal power and autonomy.

How to instill discipline in your children according to their age

Depending on the age of your children, you can apply certain measures that will help you define the limits and let them know what is correct and what is not.. In fact, according to their age, they will be able to understand some lessons or others and as they grow, your answers will have to vary

From 0 a 2 years:

1. In this age, the little ones begin to discover their surroundings and are usually very curious. That is why it is important that you eliminate from their environment any element that may be attractive to them and that they cannot use yet or is a danger., like music players, jewels, cleaning products or medications. If they approach any of them, your reaction should be to say "No" without losing your cool., remove them from the place and try to direct their attention to another activity.
2. You can use the "time out" technique, for which you leave them for about two minutes alone in a place without stimuli and distractions, since more than two minutes are not effective yet at this age.

3.- If they are about two years old, what's more, can you explain why, what they have done is not right.

From 3 a 5 years:

1. At this age they already begin to understand the relationship between the actions they carry out and the consequences they have. A) Yes, it is important that you explain to your children what is expected of them, the standards they must comply with and why they are.
2. Be consistent with these rules: make them respect them always, and above all, respect them you.
3. At this age you can also use the "time out".
4. Remember that recognizing and rewarding good behavior is very important, as well as highlighting what they should do rather than telling them what not to do.

From 6 a 8 years

1. Don't threaten them with impossible punishments: surely you will not end up complying with them and they can take away your authority. What's more, They can also demotivate children and not change their way of acting because they think they have lost everything.
2. Keep your word: consistency is crucial at these ages so as not to lose authority. Nonetheless, that doesn't mean you can't give second chances.
3. The "time out" is also effective at this time, as well as stating the consequences of bad behavior.

From 9 a 12 years:

1. He imparts discipline by appealing to the natural consequences of his actions: namely, if they don't do their homework, let them go to school and give them a bad grade. Carrying this responsibility will make them turn on. If with these consequences they do not change, you must be the one to impose your own consequences.

From the 13 years:

1. Set the rules in your daily routine: either about homework, visits from friends and time to go home: teens need limits too, although the bases of the discipline have already assimilated them.
2. Allow them some degree of control over your life: leave for example, make their own decisions about the way they dress, comb your hair or decorate your room. This will make them respect the decisions that you still have to make for them..
3. Reward them also positively: for example, let them come home a little later if they behave.

Prevent misconduct

Avoiding bad behaviors is also synonymous with preventing them. That is why before your children do a bad deed, you have already had to take steps to avoid it.. The main measures to avoid misbehavior in children are:

1. Explain the positive consequences of good behavior.
2. It is important that they also know what the negative consequences of misbehavior are.
3. Create opportunities for your children to observe and practice interpersonal and academic skills.
4. Supervise your children: be aware of where and with whom they are.
5. If your children are teenagers, prevents them from getting involved in situations that facilitate problem behaviors.

So that, when your children do not behave as they should, you already know that the key is to know what to do and what to say to them, make them understand why something is wrong and teach them to correct it. It is therefore, to make them reinforce their positive behaviors and not to take actions that could block them. What's more, Remember that prevention and early education in these standards will prevent children from growing up developing negative behaviors.